Monday, 2 October 2017

051: let's talk, shall we?

Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre @ KLPAC
I have been living under a rock for a few weeks. Detached and forced – by whom, ugh... myself. Desperately trying to catch up with everything that goes around me. I was devastated, yes. I was defeated, somehow, yes. I realized there are things that goes beyond your expectation even though you tried very hard until you bleed.

Everything is Allah’s plan, I understand.
Allah is the best planner, I do understand that too.

It just that, coping to a situation which you personally do not favored because of exterior factor such as settings and atmosphere – it kills. And after a period of time, I started to question the purpose of all the things I have done.

Why did I do it in the first place?
What is the purpose?
This did not make me happy – again, why?

And etcetera (because I’m good at being rhetorical – especially to myself) I mean, we tend to be extra strict to ourself compared to other people. Probably because we have that sense of ‘dude, you need to be good at this and this and this.’ I told the dearest friend of mine how I am so busy to the extend of me not getting any ‘me-time’ because I would not allow myself to do so. Ya know, perasaan yang bila kau duduk saja-saja tapi rasa bersalah sebab masa tu boleh terisi dengan sesuatu yang lebih berfaedah? Lol. I am such a drama, I know.

And my friend responded by, “Apa yang kau buat sampai orang lain ada masa untuk tengok drama apa semua dan kau tak?”

At that particular moment, I realized how I have been really harsh to myself. I have been working a lot and I did not let myself to have a rest because of things that I want to accomplish recquires me to work harder than I usually do. And bam! I’m burned.

The conclusion is – don’t wear yourself too hard :) Always do something that would make us happy and have a purpose! Having a purpose (intention, niat) would help us going further. Take care of our self better because once it goes ‘haywire’ – dang girl, everything would stop functioning and shit happens. And you will feel bad

Trust me, I have been there. Lol.
This is something I received in 2015 (farewell gift from Public Speaking Class) and every time I feel tired or I am fighting with my own stress - I would read this all over again just to gain strength.

How did you guys cope with your own inner stress?